


The Disaster Club

by ohshanksno



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, LOTTA CURSING YOU GUYS, there's more characters mentioned but I only added the important ones, these teenagers being disasters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-10 05:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12904893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohshanksno/pseuds/ohshanksno
Summary: They're exactly like the Breakfast Club...but worse. And they're nothing but pure trouble in personified forms of five people.





	1. September

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of ceejindeed’s and onepancake’s Modern AU drawings on tumblr. They will be making an actual tumblr to post all of the Modern AU stuff up there, but it's still in progress! I asked for permission and I got the green light, so I hope you enjoy this disaster known as the Disaster Breakfast Club in the meantime.

Summer is still here. The sun is slowly rising behind the tall oak trees and the tall building, and it’s the first week of school. A huge crowd of people are standing in the courtyard, chatting among one another about their summer fun. It’s a nice, warm morning, birds chirping happily and cars honking for their parking spaces. A bee buzzed around the flowers and landed in one.

One Eustass Kidd _hates_ it.

“I hate school.” He said to his walking buddies, Kat and Jewelry Bonney. He’s dressed in all black and has a ripped backpack hanging from one shoulder. His known red hair is everywhere except his eyes, a thick headband keeping it back. “I don’t understand why people enjoy learning when you’re not even going to use it in life. Who the fuck _cares_ about how Christopher Columbus sailed across the world? That’s not gonna help me get a job, or outta jail, for that matter.”

Bonney shrugs, bubblegum hair bouncing behind her in twin pigtails. “Not every day you get to learn about history. Like, for example, the time period where everyone was being killed off medieval style. You don’t get to see stuff like that very often.” She smiled, pink braces showing, turning around quickly so her hair flew with her. She’s wearing a fall jacket on top of a lime green shirt and khakis complete with ankle high boots.

“I bet Kat would agree.” She said, looking up at the giant.

Kat doesn’t say anything in return.

Kat was extremely tall, taller than everyone in the school except for the Three Vice Principals and the Detention Teacher, Mr. Magellan. He’s wearing all black save for his scarf. It’s big and covered half of his body and face, and it had seen better days. What was once a bright pink with black underlining the feathers was now a spotted brown and faint red. The black underlining looked darker than it should be. There’s a one arm backpack that slung across his body.

He glanced down at his friends with chocolate eyes and shrugged slightly.

“See? He does agree. Learning ways on how to murder people properly  _is_ fun. Law would agree on that, too.”

Kid rolled his eyes at her. “I don’t know whether I should be concerned that you’re enjoying _that_ part of school, or the fact you’re really thinking about ways to murder people you hate using styles that’s like, I dunno, 5,000 years old?”

She chuckled to herself and side glanced at the redhead. “You know me so well.”

They push their way through the crowd, and stopped at the middle of the courtyard. There’s a huge, pristine water fountain that sprayed water in a timely manner, and there were scattered coins at the bottom of the pond. It had a statue of a seagull preparing to take flight, wearing a hat with the school name on its head.

All three stared at it with the same expressions on their face: boredom.

“Why couldn’t it be a bear, or a wolf? Something that is actually _cool_.” Kid crossed his arms across his chest, hip jutting out. “A seagull is pretty stupid, if you ask me.”

“I like it,” Kat had stated, but no one had heard him.

Bonney puckered her lips out, hands on hip. “Well. This is Grand Line High School, and a seagull seems representative of the name. I think it fits.”

“You think _anything_ fits as long as it’s cute.”

The bubblegum head laughed in return. They turned to head towards the doors to the school to get to class, before they had spotted two more of their friends that completed the group, Ace and Law on the other side of the courtyard. They were having an animated conversation due to Ace’s excessive hand motions, and Law’s laughter.

“Hey, hey, hey! It’s Doc and Hot Balls!”

Kat hummed in agreement.

“Part the Red Sea for us, oh, wise one.” she chanted, lining up behind him to grab at his pants legs. Kidd followed right behind her, grabbing at her jacket.

Kat fixed his backpack for the trek, and marched slowly through the students. A great thing about Kat is that he doesn’t have to push his way through the crowd. Half of them stopped talking to move themselves out the way, and when they walked through, Kidd snickered right behind and gave all of them the middle finger.

Some kids gaped at the obscenity. Others give the finger back, but when Kat turned to look their way, they quickly shoved their hands in their pockets with a scowl. One of them looked like the transfer student, Apoo…but Kidd wasn’t sure, and he most certainly didn’t care.

“Hey guys! What a lovely day, huh?” Ace shouted, smiling brightly when they finally reached them, the courtyard converging back to normal.

“Why is everyone so bright and cheery on the first day of school?” Kidd retorts, coming from behind Bonney and Kat.

“Well, it’s exciting! Ya get to meet new kids, and see which ones ya can get in trouble with! And which ones are willing to do some... _things_...with ya.” Ace wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Anyways! Hey, Kat! How’s it going?”

Kat’s eyebrows draw together, and he looks towards the three story building. “I’m not really feeling the excitement here. It's just another day of hell.”

“That’s okay, bro. No pressure here.” he’s wearing nothing but khaki shorts with his signature belt on it, and boots.

“They let you come to school dressed like _that_?” Bonney asked in suspicion.

“They don’t even know.” His smile grew devilishly, and he laughed darkly, rubbing his hands together. “Oh, they don’t even _know_.”

Law joined in the conversation by wrapping an arm around Bonney’s neck, chuckling. He’s dressed exactly like Bonney except he’s wearing spotted light blue jeans. “ _Johnny Storm_ here thinks he can get away with it. In fact, I support his decision.” he turned to look at Ace, still laughing to himself. “I’m really curious as to how long it’ll take for the teachers to call you out on your choice of clothing. On the first day, no less.”

The freckled boy snorted. “Oh, trust me...it’ll be... _glorious_!”

The school bell rung across the yard, and they all look towards each other.

“Well, I don’t wanna be late,” Kidd starts, “I got class on the third floor. See ya!” he waved at them and disappeared within the crowd.

“So do I. I gotta go before I’m late.” Ace leaves afterwards, bidding everyone a goodbye.

The other three also bid their goodbyes to each other, and went their own separate ways.

* * *

“It’s one thing to have _two_ of you in my class. But the _entire_ group?”

Silver eyes give away his glee. “Aw, come on, Mr. Jinbei! It’s not that bad!” There's a smile that's too big on his face and his cheeks hurt from the sheer joy of the situation.

Mr. Jinbei is big, reminding everyone of sumo wrestlers, no matter how hard he tried to let them know he’s _not_. His hair is a deep black with white sideburns, pulled back into a bun, and his small, perfectly round eyes said more than his mouth ever would.

He’s dressed in a blue pressed shirt and green plaid pressed slacks with brown dress shoes, and he’s looking at the clipboard in front of him like it had insulted his mother.

“Yeah, Mr. Jinbei,” a student with a large tuft of blond hair on the middle of his head spoke casually, “It’s not that bad. I mean, you got some good kids, right?”

“Oh, shut _up_.” another student hissed.

Kidd is sitting beside Kat, who’s sitting beside Ace, who was sitting beside Bonney, who’s also sitting beside Law, who sat beside the student with the blond tuft. They were all sitting in the front row.

Ace turned behind him to snap at the student. “Don’t tell Birb Mom to shut up.”

Mr. Jinbei made a noise that sounded like oncoming doom. “Not only do I have you five, I also have Nami, Alvida, Marco, Drake, Reiju, Iiji, Eneru, Thatch...and...hmm.” he squinted at the board, pushing his glasses up. He took a deep breath and looked back up to the class. “ _Sabo_.”

“Oh, so we meet again, Mr. Jinbei?” came a retort from the back of the classroom.

Ace throws his arms up in excitement. “Hell, yeah! That’s not bad! You got Sabo!”

“Please refrain from cursing in the classroom, Mr. Portgas.”

Law snickered as Ace meekly apologized, head bowed down to his desk.

“Well...um..." he looked around the room nervously, taking noticing that all the students were looking at him eagerly. "I guess...as per protocol, I’ll tell you a little bit about myself,” he began, walking to his desk to sit at his chair.

“Can we use it for blackmail purposes?” a student asked from the back.

He narrowed his eyes quickly. “Please refrain yourselves from trying to blackmail me. I have nothing that would make such good blackmail material.”

“Then don’t tempt us then, Mr. Jinbei.” Bonney hums, reaching inside her bag to pull out a bag of grapes.

Another deep breath. “As you all know, my name is Mr. Jinbei and I teach history. I teach karate in my free time, and I enjoy watching classics and soap operas.”

Kidd stared at Mr. Jinbei with a blank look. “You mean to tell me... _our_ history teacher....watches fuckin' _soap operas_?”

“I also like cartoon movies. And Mr. Kidd, no cursing in my class.”

Ace reaches over to grab a grape from Bonney's bag.

“This is just a highway to hell and I’m stuck in this for the whole year.”

“Um, excuse me?” Sabo called, raising his hand upward. “So, like, when you say cartoon movies, are we talking _Kung Fu Panda_ cartoon movies, or...hentai cartoon movies?”

Ace busted out laughing, a grape flying out his mouth and he rocks back and forth in his desk, legs swinging as he tried to breathe. A couple students snickered at the question, and some just covered their faces in sheer horror.

Mr. Jinbei purses his lips together, fingers slowly closing into a fist.

“I’d never thought we’d hear a teacher watch hentai. Then again, everyone in this school watches hentai.” Reiju commented, putting a finger to her chin. She looked at Mr. Jinbei in thought. “So, do you watch tentacle porn or just plain kinky hentai?”

There’s a piece of desk that snapped under the pressure of his fist colliding with it.

“Hey, so we got a fun teacher, after all!” Kidd says, smiling bright.

“Mr. Portgas.” he says after a moment has passed, and ace had finally calmed down to wipe his tears.

“Yeah?”

“...why are you not wearing a shirt?”

* * *

Their day went on as usual, and when lunch time arrived, they all went outside to sit in front of the fountain to eat.

“What did your mom make you today, Ace?” Bonney asked, leaning on his shoulder to watch him dig through his bag. Kidd had set out a box of doughnuts in the middle of the group and grabbed a frosted doughnut.

“I dunno.” he pulled out a tin lunchbox, and set it on his lap. “I’m gonna take a wild guess and go with cheeseburgers.” he opened the lid and he smiled softly. "Well, whaddya know? It  _is_ cheeseburgers!"

“I have never seen a mom like yours that just makes cheeseburgers like that.”

He laughed to himself, pulling out a cheeseburger layered with ketchup, mustard, and bacon. “I love my mum.”

Law made a face of pure disgust as Ace noisily chowed through the heart attack waiting to happen. “I wouldn’t be surprised if suddenly you choked on that thing, Portgas.”

Kat nodded in agreement, and reached for a doughnut in the box. He pulled down his scarf just enough to reveal a head retainer, and he eats at the glazed sweetness in hunger.

Ace wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and let out a burp. “Ah, well, it’s nothing that I haven’t choked on before, so I can handle it.”

Kidd choked, orange juice coming out from his nostrils.

“The fuck!” he said afterwards, beating on his chest as he coughed weakly.

The giant snickered, doughnut covering his mouth. “Nice comeback.”

“Aw, I’m flattered.” Ace’s eyelashes flutter in mock shyness, and he laughed when Law shook his head at him.

Bonney poked him in the arm and pouted. “Can I have a cheeseburger? Your mom made one for practically _everyone_ , dude. So share.”

“Yeah, ‘ure,” he said, cheeseburger in his mouth.

She reached forward to grab one and ripped the wrapping off of it, hogging it between her teeth.

“You guys are animals when it comes to eating.” Law stated, eating at his rice. “I thought Luffy was the worst, but, once again, Portgas, you have proved me wrong.”

Ace smiled, cheeseburger still in his mouth.

* * *

They all shared two classes together. Advanced Placement History in the morning, Advanced Placement Chemistry in the afternoon, and a free block before AP Chemistry. And there are many things that can go wrong with that statement.

“Mr. Portgas,” Mr. Caesar said, face growing from boredom to horror. His assistant, Ms. Monet, looked up from her book, glasses down the bridge of her nose. “And if it isn’t Trafalgar and his _gang_.”

“Well, if _I_ didn’t know any better, Caesar-ya, I’d say you have a mighty big crush on us,” Law sneered as he walked in, taking a seat at the front of the class. He leaned the chair back onto two legs, and Kidd took a seat right next to him.

Caesar grinded his teeth together, pointing an accusing finger at the group. “I _specifically_ asked them _not_ to let you or Portgas back in this class! Especially _you_ , Mr. Kidd! And why are you half naked in my class, Portgas!?”

"Who cares?" a female student said from the back.

“It wasn’t my fault the school blew itself up last year.” Kidd stated casually, shrugging.

Ace and Bonney took a seat behind them, and beside them sat Kat, sitting next to Marco, who looked bored and ready to accept death.

“I’m going to talk to the administrators about this!”

“Good luck with that, because everyone’s doing the same thing.” Marco snorted at the sarcastic comment from Law, and Ms. Monet smiled.

“Now, now, Caesar, let’s not fret. It’s just for a semester. If anything, if you fail them, they can be dropped out or pushed into another class setting.”

Caesar blinked at her, and he lowered his arm slowly, face contorting his thoughts. It went from confusion, to more confusion, before slowly brightening up with glee. “Yes...you’re right, Monet...and these flakers never study! Even if their lives depended on it! Hah, you’re brilliant! _Brilliant_!” he claps his hands together as the rest of the class flocked in as the bell rang, and as they all settled down into empty seats, he giggled, eyes narrowing.

“Listen up, you fake assets!" he shouted, hands slamming down on his chemistry table in front of the class for emphasis. "This semester in Chemistry, I’m going to show you the doors to Hell, and you will either like it or flunk out! And I don’t care what you have to say to your parents or your kids about getting poisoned!”

Ace picked at his nose and flicked a booger to the floor, and Kat yawned, scarf covering his mouth.

“So when do we get to the fire lessons?” Ace asked, raising his hand.

“Preferably in the wintertime, where you can light yourself up like a Christmas tree!” Caesar answered with a villainous smile.

“Cool. I’ll bring my bong while I’m at it.”

Law chortled a bit too loudly, hand flying to his mouth as Bonney looked back at him, eyes narrowing.

Monet chuckled, pushing her glasses up to her forehead to wipe at her eyes. “I wonder how this year will go.”


	2. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace flips a page in his comic book, smiling. “It’s almost Halloween.”  
> “It’s 17 days to Halloween, Portgas.” Law corrects.  
> “It’s almost Halloween,” he repeats himself.  
> Kidd makes a confused face, pulling at his goggles that sat on his forehead. “So, what’s your point?”  
> “Garp’s outta town for the month.”  
> “...okay? I don’t under--”  
> “And that means…” he then looks up at his friends, smile going from innocent to evil. “I can do whatever I want.”

“So.” Law begins, nodding slowly.

Ace hums in response, flipping through a comic book. “So.”

“Hm.” Kidd stares out the window, down into the courtyard where the band kids were practicing their formations for the upcoming Homecoming parade.

Kat scribbles something in his notebook, tapping his pencil against the page. “Uh-huh.”

“...well, okay.” Bonney eats a slice of an orange, and grimaces at the tangy taste.

They’re all sitting in the library in their free block, huddled in a corner and sitting at a table like the teenagers they are. Suspicious, too quiet, wearing all black and looking like thieves, and minding their own business. Probably throw a gum wrapper on the floor but they do clean up after themselves. The _non_ -stereotypical teenagers they are.

Ace flips a page in his comic book, smiling. “It’s almost Halloween.”

“It’s 17 days _to_ Halloween, Portgas.” Law corrects.

“It’s almost Halloween,” he repeats himself.

Kidd makes a confused face, pulling at his goggles that sat on his forehead. “So, what’s your point?”

“Garp’s outta town for the month.”

“...okay? I don’t under--”

“And that means…” he then looks up at his friends, smile going from innocent to evil. “I can do  _whatever_ I want.”

Kat glances over to Ace, who sat across from him. “Please speak in proper syllables.”

“I’m gonna spray paint Mr. Sengoku’s car as a prank.”

The silence that came with his statement was heavy with confusion and disbelief. They all look at him with a blank look, and he takes that chance to elaborate. “Ya see, I’m just gonna go steal some paint from the garage at home, right, and then sneak in during our free block to the parking lot and, like, spray paint dicks all over it. And then, maybe if I have enough time, I’ll probably write down ‘Senny sucks cock’ or something.”

“Um...you’re not an artist,” Kat starts after another silence passes through the table, “You can’t even draw a circle correctly. It ends up in some form of a triangle.”

“That’s not gonna stop me.”

“And then Smoker always goes around in his buggy busting people for having sex or smoking in the parking lot.”

Ace tisks, rolling his eyes dramatically. “You’re such a mood ruiner, _Mom_.”

Kat raises his eyebrows at him. “I’m just stating facts so you won’t end up getting murdered.”

“Okay, but what if your mom finds out?” Kidd asks, tapping at the table. “I’ve never seen her mad once in my lifetime, and I don’t get scared easily. The woman’s gotta be some force if your _dad_ is afraid.”

The freckled man laughs darkly, rubbing his hands together. “Oh,  _trust_ me, she’s not gonna find out.”

“Never thought I’d hear the word ‘trust’ coming out of your mouth, Ace,” Bonney says, eating some grapes now.

“That’s a lie and you know it, Ace,” Law butts in, frowning deeply, “Remember last year when Luffy got in that food fight with Thatch? And you said then that she wasn’t gonna find out?”

Ace’s smile falters at the memory.

“Oh, yeah, and she came in the school and went off because someone punched Luffy or something. I don’t know all the details because I had a dentist appointment that day.” Bonney looks at Ace. “You never told me the full story, and from what I’ve been told, you were there, Ace.”

“Um.” He looks away from everyone and looks out at the window.

“Oh, _I’ll_ tell you.” Law smirks, and the freckled man goes slightly pale, head jerking towards Law. “She actually came in the school to get Sabo for his eye appointment--”

“Shut up, Law.”  Ace hisses, but he was ignored.

“--and there was a call stating that there was a fight going on. Sabo, Luffy, _and_ Ace had lunch at that time and Ace actually started the fight, but Luffy got caught in between it. Which is where the rumors of Luffy starting the fight came from. So, long story short, Ace’s mom saw Luffy get punched and let’s just say Thatch couldn’t see out of his eye for a couple weeks. She had to explain to Whitebeard what happened to his eye, from what I heard from Marco.”

“Holy _fuck_.” Kidd gasps, looking at Ace, who’s covering his head now.

“Your mom hit a student?” Bonney’s leaning closer to Ace now, eyes wide with shock. “A _student_?”

“It was an accident, actually. She felt pretty bad about it afterwards and apologized a lot. But then when she found out that goody two shoes Ace started it, she just smiled at him and took all three of them home. That’s all I know. Ace knows the rest, but he never told us.”

Kat’s intrigued by this conversation, so he closes his notebook and leans himself on one arm against the table. “What happened when she took you home?”

Ace shakes his head rapidly.

“That bad, huh?” The giant’s smiling brightly, and he’s actually laughing under that dirty scarf of his.

Ace glares at Law between his fingers, and makes a face. “I hate you, Law.”

He gives him the middle finger. “You’re not the first one, Portgas, and you most certainly won’t be the last.”

* * *

A couple of days later goes by and it’s a Thursday. It’s a bit chilly, but it’s t-shirt and shorts weather for one Portgas D. Ace, who’s carrying a duffle bag that clanks and rolls every time he walks. Marco had looked at him funny in 1st period, but he ignored the looks he got from people as he casually carried it around like it was just a regular book bag with gym clothes in it. It sounded like he was carrying more than what was needed for school, and at one point it sounded like there was a bird calling for help in there.

It’s 2nd period and there’s 21 minutes left in the class. The teacher, who stepped out at the moment for a reason that Ace didn’t care to listen to, had given their homework assignment on the board. It was five math problems that could be done in 10 minutes for the Pre-Calculus students, but Ace was eager enough to write down the problems on his forearm in sharpie and glare at the clock for the next 18 minutes of his time.

“What’s in the bag, dude?” one student had asked, piquing the interest of the rest of the class. The class goes silent, and only the ticking of the clock was heard.

“I dunno. You tell me.”

“I asked you for a reason.”

Ace doesn’t look away from the clock. 12 minutes left.

“Just mind your own business.”

The student scoffs. “You’re a jerk, Portgas.”

“I don’t care.” 8 minutes left.

The teacher come back, coffee in hand. “Ah, I’ll just go ahead and dismiss--”

She didn’t get to finish her statement as Ace was the first one to run out the door and down the hall.

* * *

Kat, Bonney, Kidd, and Law all stand off to the side of the car, watching Ace do his extraordinary artwork. They’re all tilting their heads to the side, and each of them have a look on their faces: amusement, confusion, horror, and interest.

“Is he really doing this?” Kidd asks, mostly to himself.

“Yep.” Law replies, popping his p.

“...but it’s….so... _ugly_.”

“The car or the paint job?” Kat questions.

“ _Both_.”

Ace is painting on a brand new white Maybach Mercedes Benz, spray painting in a light purple color. He draws two circles and an oval, and grabs the blue spray paint to draw a smiley face on it. It’s a pretty bad paint job because he’s getting paint everywhere on his hands and his clothes and the pavement, but what matters to him is that he gets the job done.

The red head’s shaking his head the entire time, and Ace gets to five dicks being spray painted. He works his way around the car, and when he’s done, he grabs a can of orange and does the most stupidest thing to where Kat facepalms himself a few times.

“Did you...did you really just spray paint your own name on his windshield?” Bonney’s voice doesn’t have a hint of emotion in it.

He looks proudly at his artwork. “Well, yeah! An artist has to credit their own work! _Duh_!”

Law has a hand to his mouth, and he’s doubling over. His shoulders are quaking and he’s got tears running down his face.

“I can’t fucking  _believe_ this shit.” Kidd’s running his hands through his hair and he’s pacing back and forth. “Oh, my _god_.”

Kat’s looking at Ace straight in the eyes. “What song do you want played at your funeral?”

“Oh, I haven’t decided yet.” he shrugs. “I guess some Will Smith, Imagine Dragons, or something. Just play something cool and catchy.”

The giant then looks up and sees a car coming towards them. “Oh, it’s Smoker.”

They all look at him, and then to the car. It’s literally a Copper Dune dust buggy with paint chipping off at the front. No one knows why he has it or where he got it from, but being hauled to the Principal in that car isn’t a fun adventure is commonly known throughout the whole school. Especially when his partner, Tashigi, is hooking the trouble up in zipties. 

Kidd’s the first one to move, and the rest follows behind like they practiced it before. Leaving the materials, they all dash behind the car and dodge further into the parking lot to where the trees begin, and they climb and jump over the fence and run into the bushes and spiderwebs into the woods.

Bonney’s coughing a bit and Ace and Kidd looks unfazed from their exercise. Law looks ready to fall down and Kat’s pulling down his scarf to cough dryly.

Ace stretches, and turns to face them. “Well, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?”

“Your mom’s gonna murder you.”

Ace shakes his head, and looks around them. “She can’t get me if I’m not in the house with her.” he smiles and taps his head. “I know what I’m doing.”

They all take a breather, and after looking at their surroundings, they deemed it a nice time to take a walk. They all huddle together and walk, Ace obviously taking the lead.

“It’s actually...pretty nice out here. I’m not much of a nature person, but it’s nice.” Kat compliments, looking at blue jays perching on tree branches above their heads. They’re chirping happily, and a squirrel runs by, acorns and berries stuck in between its cheeks. It’s a scenery only seen in movies, with the sunlight going through the leaves, and there’s a bit of orange and green leaves on the ground with a bunch of pine needles.

The giant happens to look past a bush, and sees blond hair.

He’s wary now, and his eyes narrow. He stops walking.

Bonney’s the first to notice he stopped. “Kat?”

“Shh.”

She blinks and they all stop at the sudden change of his voice, turning towards him. He’s creeping over to the bush, the other four following behind, feet light and quick. He sticks his hands in between the branches, and pulls them wide apart to see--

“ _Sabo_?” they all say at the same time. They sounded like the Scooby-Doo gang busting a former friend.

Sabo freezes, and he slowly turns his head to face them, hands holding a cigarette and a lighter.

Law’s the first to speak up. “Sabo? What are you doing out here? Don’t you have class?”

The blond narrows his eyes and hisses like a cat. “Don’t _you_ have class?”

“I’m in a free block.”

“Oh. Cool.” he shrugs, relaxing instantly, and turns back to light his cigarette.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

“I didn’t know I smoked either.” he states with a sarcastic tone, blowing out a puff of cigarette air, and leans back against the tree that the bush surrounds.

The freckled man makes a face of excitement, and laughs behinds Kat. “Now,  _this_ ," he exclaims, gesturing to the blond, who's looking at him with an unimpressed look, "fellow minions, is something you don’t see every day!”

“Says the person that sings Disney princess songs.”

“I do not!”

Everyone else isn't really surprised because it's Sabo, and they've seen some things they'd never expect from him throughout the years they've all known each other, so they just nod at him. Kidd casually waves, and Sabo smiles back. He blows out another puff of smoke, and eventually snuffs it out between his fingers before he flicks it somewhere beside him.

"...so...skipping class, again, Sabo?" Kat asks.

"Eh? No, I just hated the teacher so I left. I got a B average so that's not bad."

"So you're skipping."

Sabo grabs another cigarette and lights it. 

"No. Skipping class is when you leave in the _middle_ of it. I left at the beginning. There's a difference, guys."

Ace's confused now, so he responds into the conversation. "So what are you doing, then?"

"Skipping class."

* * *

An hour of talking in the woods have passed, and they all walk back towards the school. They had to cross through the parking lot, and noticed that Mr. Sengoku was staring at his car with a funny look.

Needless to say, another hour later in AP Chem class, Ace was called down to the office. He was happy to escape that hellhole, doing nothing but going over the periodic table and preparing for a test next week.

He strolls into the office, kicking the door open and sitting into the chair provided, kicking his feet onto the desk. Sengoku looks very unpleased at the behavior, and Ace smiles.

“Sup, Senny, my old man? It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“You’re suspended.” was all he needed to say.

The freckled man blinks, and shrugs. “Aight.”

“Please leave.”

“Whatever. You’re gonna miss me, and you know it.” he sticks his tongue out and walks out the office, and texts his friends before he walks out the doors.

_Got myself suspended, so see u nerds later. Goin out 4 pizza. LOL!!!!! tell Caesar i said peace_


	3. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The giant blond turns to smile at the group, sighing happily. “What a lovely sight you five are! Lemme go take a picture!” he runs off to go grab the camera that was somewhere in their mansion of a house, but slips halfway out the kitchen. A loud crash was heard in the living room, followed by cursing. “I’m okay!”
> 
> “Do we really have to?” Kat asks, pulling his scarf up higher.
> 
> “I’ve learned to just accept whatever life gives you. Whether it’s lemons, a family photo album day, impending doom, an ugly Christmas sweater that was in style 20 years ago, or a fake death.”
> 
> "A fake death? What?"
> 
> "Some things you just don't question about."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, guys! I'm trying to keep this up to date, but night school has been killing me as of late, guh. Sorry about that ;-;

It was a quiet, clear Friday night, crickets chirping their evening songs outside their windows. The streets lights were a lazy orange glow, and a chilly wind blew gently into the street, leaves flying along with it.

They were all in the kitchen, papers, index cards, and books thrown across the table along with a few cups of tea. It was 7:52 PM. The group was spending the night at Law’s place, getting together to finish their Famous Person project for History Class. Rosinante had excitedly agreed if it meant them getting a decent grade altogether, and still get to hang out.

“I think this is such a _lovely_ idea, Law,” Rosinante says from the stove as the group mumbled with each other about the details the project ensued, “I’d never thought your friends were so concerned over grades! A lot of children your age just never cares about anything anymore, it seems.”

Law rolls his eyes, shoulders shrugging in his polar bear onesie. He has a thick textbook balanced in between his lap, and scribbles something onto an index card, eyes squinting behind his glasses. “Grades are what make a student, Rosi.”

Rosi smiles from behind the stove, stirring a pot of hamburger. “I love your friends, Law.”

“They’re literally right behind you. They can hear, you know.”

The giant turns around, pale straw yellow hair flying with his movement. Lips parted to say something, but he ends up spinning a second time, and dizzyingly, he thumps to the ground.

Ace happens to look over the table, reaching for the steaming teapot, and brings his cup closer to pour himself another cup. He was wearing a tiger onesie, hair pulled back into a short bun on the top of his head. He had a notepad in his hand, filled with notes.

“Are you okay?” Bonney asks, looking under the table. She wore a pink unicorn onesie. Her hair was pulled back into two buns, looking like the style of Princess Leia.

“Ah, y-yes, I am, dear!” he gives a bright smile, cheeks a bright pink of embarrassment. “I just spun too fast, is all.” he laughs it off.

“Your uncle is weird,” Kidd states, eyes never moving from his textbook. He was wearing a zebra onesie. “But he’s pretty cool.”

Kat doesn’t say anything, eyes moving along the pages of his notes and three textbooks. He wore his scarf, along with an alligator onesie that was two sizes too small for him.

Law finds himself rolling his eyes again. “If you want to call him that, Eustass-ya.”

“I can still hear, you know!”

Ace sets down his notes and stretches. “So, when’s dinner gonna be ready? I’m _starving_ here!”

“Shut up, Ace,” Bonney snaps, glaring up at him, “You eat like a fucking horse.”

“Says the woman that eats like a T-Rex.”

" _Excuse_ me?! You wanna fucking fight?”

Silver eyes narrow. “Bring it, _princess_.”

Law sighs deeply, and turns to look at his laptop. “If you have the time to fight each other, you have the time to do this project. It’s worth a lot of points this semester.”

Ace sticks his tongue out at the bubblegum haired girl, and she grumbles under her breath. Rosinante makes the effort to get up from the tiled floor, and rubs at his neck shyly. The noodles boil over when he fully stands up, so he hurries to turn down the burner and stir at them quickly.

“Hey, I just realized something, guys.” Kidd says after a moment passes through. “We’re like...Star Wars, if you think about it.”

They all look up at him.

“Ya know, Bonney’s Leia, and Kat’s Chewie.”

Kat makes a disgusted face. “Why do I have to be that hairy thing?”

“And Ace is Han and Law is Luke, I guess.”

A snort escapes from the blond giant.

“Hey, I get to be the outlaw! Yeah!” Ace smiles at the thought, and does a little dance in his chair.

“Ace, shut up.” Kat side-glares at him.

“You can’t tell me to shut up, _Chewie_.” Ace stops his mini dance to look up at the crouching giant, “I’m the captain of this ship, and I say, let’s ditch this shitty project and play some games or something.”

“We can’t just ditch this. It’s due next week.”

“And?”

“I agree with Kat.” Law looks up from his laptop. “I am not getting an F on this project just because _you_ decided to be lazy.”

The giant blond turns to smile at the group, sighing happily. “What a lovely sight you five are! Lemme go take a picture!” he runs off to go grab the camera that was somewhere in their mansion of a house, but slips halfway out the kitchen. A loud crash was heard in the living room, followed by cursing. “I’m okay!”

“Do we really have to?” Kat asks, pulling his scarf up higher.

“I’ve learned to just accept whatever life gives you. Whether it’s lemons, a family photo album day, impending doom, an ugly Christmas sweater that was in style 20 years ago, or a fake death.”

"A fake death? What?"

"Some things you just don't question about."

* * *

It’s a fresh Monday morning, the air brisk and cold. The sun’s up, and everything’s orange and brown with clear skies. There’s slight frost on the branches, and a low fog was disappearing as the sun becomes higher and brighter in the sky.

“I got an idea for this month.” Kidd starts as they walk their way into the crowded courtyard.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Law responds.

“How about…” he pauses, and rubs his hand under his chin. “...we release turkeys into the school? Get it? Because it’s Thanksgiving month, so why not?”

The group stops walking and turn to face the redhead. Ace’s face shows nothing but maniacal glee, while the others show slight confusion.

Kidd blinks, and he makes a confused face. “No?”

Ace is the first to speak up. “Well, damn, Kidd, that’s brilliant! I was thinking of graffiti on the walls again, but that’s even better!”

Bonney raises her hand. “Uh, where are you going to get turkeys from? We don’t have a farm in this town.”

The redhead then smiles, showing all of his teeth as he chuckles to himself. “Oh, I already got that planned.”

“I don’t like that look, Kidd.” Kat says, eyes narrowing in suspicion as the group inches closer to hear Kidd’s plan better.

* * *

Part A of the plan, Kidd had explained, was to drive roughly 40 minutes out of town to this little farm that sat off road. He had said it was a farm that was colored green, and it wouldn’t be that easy to miss if you had a careful eye. All they had to do was just go in and grab for turkeys.

Kat and Bonney were set up for the task.

“I hate this!”  Bonney huffs and looks out the window, arms crossed. They were in Ace’s dirty, rockety green pick up truck. Paint was peeling around the handles and the tire guards, and it smelled like gas. Kat was driving, shifting in gear every so often since it was an older model with a stick shaft instead of automatic.

“I have snacks in my bag, if you’d like some.” he says through his scarf. “I made them myself.”

Bonney blinks, and turns to face him. “Really?” she leans forward to grab the bag on the dashboard and opens it, revealing wrapped sweets. “Holy shit, Kat, this looks so delicious!”

Kat makes a small noise, and his cheeks flush a slight pink. “Well, I--”

She doesn’t hear the rest of his statement because she opened the package, and waffled it down like it was her lifeline.

…

Part B of the plan, was to make signs. They were to be numbered, one through five, but they were only getting four turkeys. Law thought it was stupid, but Ace thought it was funny.

Ace and Law were set for that task.

“Are you done with your baby bibs yet, Law?”

“Shut the hell up and I _just_ might.”

Ace snickers and holds up his, a messy 1 and 2 scribbled with black paint. “My mom would be so proud of my art skills!”

“That’s if she’s not trying to murder you.”

The freckled man pouts. “Well, unlike you, I try!”

“Whatever.”

"Well, you just suck at art."

Law bites down on his lip to keep himself from making a smart retort back.

* * *

It’s Wednesday, and everything is set.

It’s 8:48 AM, and Kidd stares at the clock as Mr. Jinbei continues on with his lesson. The plan was to go in motion at exactly 9:00, and Kidd hopes and prays that nothing fucks it up.

Kat and Law were missing from the class, and Kidd noticed that Ace hasn’t stopped nibbling at his pen for the last 24 minutes. Bonney was shaking her leg heavily, nonstop.

“Mr. Kidd?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you please answer the question?”

Kidd internally rolls his eyes, and looks at Mr. Jinbei with an unimpressed look. The man stares right back at him with hard eyes, and the redhead looks at the board.

_Why did Christopher Columbus sail across the world?_

Kidd blinks.

“We’re waiting for your answer, Mr. Kidd.”

He side glances at the clock, and it reveals that it was only 8:51.

“He...uh…sailed the ocean blue...to...um…” he internally panics, because he wasn't paying any attention to the lesson. Why _did_ Columbus sail across the ocean again? What importance did it hold again? Law would have his head for that. “Um…”

“Psst! _Psst_!”

Half the front row turns around to see Sabo hissing at Kidd. “For Asia!” he whisper-shouts, hands cupped over his mouth. The whole class can hear him give the answer, but no one comments on it. “For _Asia_! He sailed to find Asia!”

Kidd slowly turns back to face his teacher. “...he sailed to get a life?”

"Oh my fucking God--"

Sudden laughter explodes from his right, and Mr. Jinbei makes a frown. “I don’t think that’s the correct answer. Please pay attention.”

Kidd shrugs it off, and turns to look at the clock. 9:02.

Bonney turns to look at the clock, too.

“Is there something you’re waiting for, Mr. Kidd? You’ve been looking at the clock repeatedly--”

“Nothing, teacher. Just.” he takes a moment to think of a lie. “Figuring out when I gotta go pee again.”

There’s more laughter, and it sounds like a dying walrus clapping his hands.

Suddenly, the intercom comes on. There’s static at first, but then it clears itself out to reveal the Principal’s voice.

 _“Good morning, staff and students. Uh, how do I put this...um, I’m afraid we will have to be put on lockdown because there are..._ ** _turkeys_ ** _roaming around in the school. Do **not** panic, everything is unde--” _

There was a loud screech, followed by incoherent yelling, and something heavy falls in the background. At the moment, Kat and Law slip inside the classroom and silently closes the door behind them, and Mr. Jinbei watches them carefully sit in their seats so casually. His eyebrows draw upwards when something breaks through the intercom.

_“We’re terribly sorry, sir! It just won’t stop screeching!”_

_“It keeps poking my eye out!”_

_“Kill it.”_

_“We are not killing a turkey on school premises!”_

_“It’s getting away!”_

_“It’s eating the wires! Stop that turkey!”_

_“My eye! It poked my eye!”_

_“Just grab the damn turkey!”_

There’s more screaming, and everything goes silent.

The class doesn’t move, much less breathe, and they turn to look at Mr. Jinbei simultaneously. Mr. Jinbei looks down to the students in the front row, and his eyes linger heavily on Law and Kat, who stare right back at him.

“ _Would Portgas D. Ace please report to the Principal’s office please?” a_ female voice says after a long silence.

Ace groans loudly, and his head falls into his heads. “Wow, gotta put the blame on the innocent one.”

_“Immediately.”_

“Good luck in hell, Portgas-ya,” Law chuckles, crossing his arms behind his head.

_“Would Trafalgar Law, Eustass Kidd, Jewelry Bonney, and Charlotte Kat please report to the Principal’s office, immediately?”_

Law’s smile fades quickly as soon as it appeared. “Fucknuggets.”

“Ha, looks like I’m not the only fuck up here!”

“Good luck in hell, yoi.” Marco says, trying to hide a smile behind his hand.

Everyone aside from Ace glares daggers at the blond.

* * *

They stand at the door of the main office. In a way, it was like impending doom. But neither of the group had the heart or the soul to open that door, and march inside to their death sentence.

“I’m not going first. I’ve done it plenty of times last year with Sabo. It’s your turn.” Ace says, sliding behind Bonney.

“Oh, nuh-uh, I’m not opening that door.” Bonney moves.

“I’d rather get my hand chopped off than touch _that_ doorknob,” Law hisses, moving behind the two.

“Sorry, I’d rather face Ace’s Mom’s wrath than the Principal.” Kidd shuffles his way behind the rest, and only the giant was left to open the door.

“Of course. I have to open Pandora’s Box, don’t I?” Kat groans, and his hand slowly reaches out towards the golden doorknob, and they all hold their breath.

His fingers touch the cool metal, and slowly twisting it, the door pushes itself open, and the first thing the group sees are feathers. Brown and white feathers everywhere, like a confetti cannon had went off in the office.

The second thing they see is Mr. Magellan holding a turkey under his arm, and he turns to look at the open door. He looks about ready to explode, his head covered with some feathers.

The third thing they see are the Three Giants, each one holding a turkey as far away as possible from their face. Mr. Kizaru was patting one absently, a lazy smile on his face. It was the only turkey that was calm and wasn't making a fuss like the other three were.

The last thing they see is Principal Sengoku, covered in feathers and his glasses askew on the bridge of his nose. His expression was nothing compared to what they've seen. It was a blank slate, and his eyes had no emotion whatsoever.

The group cringes internally at the hellish looks they’re getting, and to add fuel to the fire, Garp and Smoker appear, standing behind them with arms crossed.

Bonney was the first to turn, and she harshly yanks on Ace’s shirt. The freckled man spins around and comes face to face with his grandfather, paling significantly at the dark look he’s giving the freckled teen.

“Uh...Grandpa! Uh…” a nervous laugh escapes from him, and the rest of the group turns to face one known disaster known as Ace’s grandfather. “What a surprise to see you here so early! I...thought you weren’t coming back until...uh, the first of December?”

“No, you little shit. I told you I was coming back _this_ Wednesday.”

Ace gulps visibly, and he can feel his blood running cold.

“Wait until your mother hears _this_ shit.” he’s already laughing, and Ace is just ready to pass out.

“...well...good thing it’s Thanksgiving break, huh?” Mr. Kizaru says slowly, laughing to himself.


	4. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The holiday spirit I’m looking for is where you can run around rampant and not get caught.” Law grumbles, and pulls at the scratchy material of the beard.  
> “Now, Traffic, that’s not the attitude you’re suppose to be giving! You’re Santa! Be happy!”  
> “I’ll be happy when children ask for murder.”  
> Luffy frowns. “What kind of kid wants murder for Christmas?”  
> “A very good one.”  
> Luffy looks a little lost at the comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added Luffy and Kat's siblings into this one. They'll appear here and there, along with our loveable redhead, Shanks. c:

Luckily, they got off easy during Thanksgiving break by organizing the library’s books. It wasn’t hard, with Law’s organization skills and Bonney’s memory. What made it extremely difficult was Ace’s laziness, and Kidd’s unorthodox method of organizing things to a high standard that wasn’t his.

But they got done, and eventually, the month of windy November makes its way into a chilly December.

There’s Christmas decorations all around the neighborhoods to the point where it looks like a complete holiday festival, and the school was presenting a chorus this upcoming Friday. There’s rumors about having enough snow to keep them all coming from school, and even more rumors of a new shop opening up down the street.

Everything was going swell for the Disaster Club, until one Thursday, Ace’s mother came to him and his friends, who were lounging outside on the porch, with a question.

“Ace?” she calls as she peeks from the front door.

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you?”

Law looks up at him, smile too bright for the moody teen. “Rest in fucking pieces, dude.”

“Shut up, Law.” he turns to face her as she comes out barefoot, nails painted a deep purple. Her strawberry blonde hair was long and was nothing but curls that defied gravity, and her eyes of light brown were warm as ever. There was a small sunflower on the the left side of her curly hair.

“What’s up, Mom?”

“Are you doing anything with your friends this weekend?”

Ace blinks, and he looks at each of them: Kat who stares back, Bonney and Kidd who shrug, Law who rolls his eyes, and Marco who gives a lazy smile.

“Uh...what...what did you have planned for us?” he asks slowly, looking back up at her. He has a bad feeling about where the conversation might be going.

She looks away shyly, but Ace noticed that her eyes were twinkling in mischief. “I had you all signed up for Santa’s workshop for the elementary school down the street this Saturday at 10,” she says in a soft voice. “It's for the children, you see.”

A heavy silence sits with the group, and a light wind blows through.

Marco is the first to speak. “I...I just remembered I have a project that’s due, like, next week, Ms. Portgas. Sorry.”

“I have to help Rosinante fix the washer machine.”

“Y-yeah, I offered to help, too!” Kidd butts in.

She hides her hands behind her back, and Ace is making a face of pure shock. “But they offered to pay you if you complete the task.”

The group pauses in their excuses, and Ace starts to say something.

“Are you bri--”

“How much?” Law says, interrupting Ace.

A shrug escapes her, curls bouncing. “Give or take, 200 belis.”

“I’m in.”

“Well, I’m not doing anything this weekend.”

“I’m free.”

“Studying is boring anyways.”

She blinks rapidly, but the glee never fades from her eyes. “I thought you all had plans this weekend?”

“Ms. Portgas, you don’t need plans when money’s involved.” Bonney smiles darkly, rubbing her hands together.

Rouge gives a bright smile. “Great!” she exclaims, clapping her hands together, “You’re all going as elves, but you have to decide who’s going to be Mr. Santa! Be there bright and early, kids!” she giggles and runs into the house, door closing behind her light steps.

Ace doesn’t move from his spot, mouth agape.

“I can’t believe she bribed you guys.”

Marco scoffs, and leans into the column of the porch. “They're just kids, yoi. Nothing wrong with a little charity.”

* * *

Saturday’s bright and early, but it sure is a chilly one.

Ace isn’t fond of the skin tight green leggings he has to wear, nor the makeup Rouge had put on him beforehand. He feels like a pin-up doll.

“Why am I doing this again?”

“Your brothers are joining in on this, too, Acey-kins--”

“Ugh--”

“--and they should be down here any minute.” she adds a bit more blush to his freckled cheek, and she takes a step back with a smile. “There! Aww, you look just liked you did when you were such a wee baby!”

“ _Mom_. Please.”

There’s footsteps coming down the stairs, and they both glance up to a disgruntled Sabo and a none-too-happy Luffy.

“I don’t like this outfit, Mom. It’s too tight! I can’t even feel my feet!” Luffy whines.

Sabo clicks his tongue and frowns. “Can I go back to bed?”

“Luffy, that’s perfectly normal, and Sabo, no, we’ve talked about this.”

Sabo crosses his arms and huffs. “You _never_ let me do anything fun.”

“Now, Sabo, what did we say about that statement?”

Sabo makes a pout.

“Sabo.”

A defeated sigh escapes the blond. “Everytime I say it I have to put money in the no-promises jar.”

“Good. Now, get in the car. Ace, make sure your friends meet us there, okay?” her smile twitches and suddenly, there’s venom in her eyes. “I don’t like being set up, sugar buns, so make sure they do their _very_ best to meet us there.”

The atmosphere in the room goes cold, and the three boys stay silent.

“Will do, Mother, will do,” Ace squeaks out, and just as it came, the dark atmosphere leaves in a foggy haze. She smiles more easily now, and she skips away into the kitchen.

Sabo clicks his tongue as Luffy pulls at his leggings. “Your friends better show up, Ace, or so help me--”

“Sabo.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up or you’ll jinx it.”

* * *

They make it to the elementary school--Little East Blue Elementary--in Rouge’s little car, and when they get out the car, they see Kat and a girl about his height standing off to the side.

Ace is the first to get out the car, and Luffy follows him as Sabo and Rouge go around to the trunk to bring out the lights and pin-up decorations.

Kat was wearing an elf costume, and the lady was wearing a Mrs. Claus outfit. She had long, curly light purple hair obscuring one eye, while the other eye glared daggers at them, and shiny lip gloss. Decorative boxes were stacked beside them, and there was a sweet smell coming from them.

“Who’s the lady?” Luffy asks Kat, and Ace elbows him in his side.

“This is my sister, Smo. Smo, this is Ace and...uh…”

“Luffy!”

“Luffy.” he finishes.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Ace replies, and waves. “What’s with the boxes?”

“We just opened up a new shop yesterday, so we’re advertising.” Smo replies cooly, and she gives a small smile.

“A shop? Is it a meat shop?”

She snorts into her hand. “No, it’s a sweets shop. One, Indeed.”

“That sounds pretty cool! So that’s what the rumors were about!”

“Yes.”

Kat and Ace nod simultaneously. No one says anything for a moment as a cool wind blows through and ruffles Smo’s dress.

“Ace, Luffy, help your brother get the chair inside!” Rouge calls from the car.

They both make a face.

* * *

It’s 9:15 and everyone’s here, and Luffy is the only one that seems very excited about this whole thing.

“Come on guys!” he exclaims, clenching his fiss in excitement. “Do it for the children! Let’s hear some holiday spirit!”

The rest of the group murmurs disagreements, and Smo and Kat set off a table for the children that are coming soon.

“The holiday spirit I’m looking for is where you can run around rampant and not get caught.” Law grumbles, and pulls at the scratchy material of the beard.

“Now, Traffic, that’s not the attitude you’re suppose to be giving! You’re Santa! Be happy!”

“I’ll be happy when children ask for murder.”

Luffy frowns. “What kind of kid wants _murder_ for Christmas?”

“A very good one.”

Luffy looks a little lost at the comment.

“This all looks so lovely!” Rouge gasps, looking throughout the room.

They’re in the library, tables stacked to the side to where the chair was pushed into a corner, and there were decorations huddled throughout the room. It looked like any Santa’s workshop, with everyone getting into their positions and Law cursing a storm under the beard.

Marco’s pulling at his green leggings and stands beside Ace. “This is really uncomfortable.”

“To be really honest,” Ace points to Bonney, “Bonney has the most comfortable outfit in the room.”

They both look over to the bubblegum haired girl, who’s working with Kidd on setting up the stands for the lines. She’s wearing an elf skirt and brown leggings, but they’re not skin tight like the rest of them were. They looked comfortable, and her shirt wasn’t squeezing the hell out of her lungs either.

“...I’d kill for that suit right now. It looks so _comfortable_.”

“Good luck finding on in your size.”

Ace lets the information sink in, and he makes a face. “I’m a fucking giant in their size, aren’t I?”

Marco smiles. “Yeah, you are.”

Rouge walks over to Bonney and Kidd, a bright smile on her face. “Everything looks really good! Thank you for letting us borrow your Christmas lights, Eustass.”

Kidd shrugs as he messes with the goggles around his neck. “We weren’t using them anyways.”

A few more minutes pass, and there’s a loud bang at the library doors. All idle conversation stops as there’s a loud thump followed by a curse.

“I bet it’s a _real_ Santa!” Luffy whispers to no one.

Law looks at him with a glare. “The _fuck_ is that suppose to mean?”

Rouge hesitates, and she slowly makes her way to the door. Her hand reaches forward and they pull open to reveal--

“Shanks.” she says in the most monotone voice that it puts Law to shame.

Luffy gasps excitedly, and Ace has to hold him back by the shoulder. “Shanks!”

“That’s me!” The red-hair smiles, and waves at everyone. “Hey guys!”

The door immediately slams in his face, and she locks it for good measure.

* * *

Luffy picks at his nose as Shanks starts setting up the camera and checking all the wires. “So, what are you doing here, Shanks? I thought you were with Benn today?”

“Ah, Roger asked me to take pictures. He got caught up at work so he wouldn’t have been able to make it.” he smiles, and Rouge stares at him with such intensity that a nervous laughs escapes from him.

“He got caught up in work?” she asks slowly.

“Y-yes.”

She stares longer. He begins to sweat.

“I’ll have a talk with him later. But, do continue with your work, Shanks.” she leaves to go talk to Law.

Luffy laughs. “You’re such a horrible liar, Shanks!”

“That’s funny, coming from you.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“Nothing, Luf. Nothing at all.”

* * *

Law takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. There's too many talkative children and a couple of them are screaming because they're about to meet _Santa_. And the parents are at the snack table, Smo and Kat handing out cookies and fruit at a fast pace. The elves aren't doing _jack shit_ for the screaming demons, and Law's gaining a headache at a speed he thought impossible compared to being stuck in a car with Ace's family for two hours.

Instead, they're all laughing and snickering at Law's rising impatience, and Luffy's making it worse by passing out a plate of cookies to the kids with Sabo's encouragement.

Marco is trapped in a corner, being attacked by a couple of kids who won't stop screaming for juice boxes he has on a plate. He looks ready to give out his life source to them.

“What do you want for Christmas, kid? He asks, monotone, at the child sitting on his knee.

“I want a pony!” the boy screams, and it leaves Law's ears ringing.

He looks into the camera.

“And I also want a hoverboard, too!”

He turns back to look at the child, golden eyes shining with annoyance. “Look here, kid. I’m not a miracle worker. Pick one or the other.”

“But I want both!”

He breathes deeply.

“Hoverboards don’t exist.”

“Then get me a pony!”

“Look,” he hisses, and the kid looks up at him with wide eyes, “at this rate the only thing you’re getting from me is a dislodged Power Ranger figure and a bag full of coal.”

The kid’s jaw drops open. And then he bursts into tears.

“Next kid.”

Shanks looks at him from behind the camera.

Five crying kids and disgruntled parents later, Rouge has decided to switch Santas.

Sadly, it turned out to be Kat, who was not pleased with the transition. The costume was three sizes too small, and Ace and Kidd kept laughing at him every time he pulled down the pants leg, only for it to rise back up to his calf.

“Darling, you’ll have to take off that scarf so you can put the beard on,” Rouge comments as he fits the hat onto his head, pouting when he shakes his head.

“I’d rather be stranded in a zombie hoard than take off my scarf.”

“Okay. I won’t pressure you. But please, don’t scare off the kids.”

He makes a face underneath his scarf, and goes to sit in the chair. The kids are even more reckless and rowdy from their oncoming sugar rush, and he feels Law's pain right then and there.

A little girl with freckles and twin blonde ponytails comes skipping along, and jumps into his lap. “Hi Santa!”

“Uh…” he looks into the camera, and Shanks shrugs. Rouge stands beside him and gives him a bright smile as her grandmother smiles. “Hello, little one. What would you like for Christmas?”

“I want to be a mermaid like Grandma!”

Kat blinks. “A...mermaid?”

“Yeah-huh!”

“...o...okay. I’ll see what I can arrange for you.”

“Thanks, Santa!”

A shutter clicks, and the girl jumps down as another kid walks up.

“And what do you want for Christmas?” he asks another young girl.

“A torture kit.”

“A what?”

“Did I stutter, Santa?”

He leans back into his seat. “A-and... _why_ do you want one?”

“There can only be one sister in that house, and it’ll be _me_.”

He’s a little concerned about today’s children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I thought so, this might be delayed a bit because I'm taking part of my first OP event!! Also, I got really lazy at the ending so forgive me, because my brain went hazy and I was studying intensely for my final. That's why it looks a bit rushed and weird.


End file.
